From: David Kabanje
Date: October 1, 2021
Subject: GMU from Dr. Lesa Kean

We, who are strong... 


In my early twenties, I dated a man I was certain I was going to marry. We were together constantly. Several months into dating he spent Thanksgiving with my family, then I spent Christmas with his. I was sure I was reading the signs correctly. He was the one! I would be spending the rest of my life with him, I was certain. In my mind, I was already married to him. We just happened to live in different houses. We just happened to still have different last names.


After a while, though, I started to realize that we had never really talked about anything more long-term than the next couple of weeks. Hesitantly, I asked, “where do see us about five years from now?”


His response in a nutshell: Nowhere.


Over the days that followed, we talked, yelled, argued, and talked some more. But in the end, it boiled down to this: He didn’t want to marry me, didn’t want to raise children with me, didn’t appreciate my career, and didn’t really think our interests were similar enough to keep us together for any significant period of time. I asked, why was he with me at all? Apparently, I was, “good enough for now.” I didn’t see the point in staying with him if marriage wasn’t the direction we were headed, so we broke up.


What followed, for me, was days of crying. Not the cute, touching, little tear in the eye kind of crying; but the ugly, wailing, snot-bubble type of crying. I had been so sure he was the one. I had made lots of mistakes and given up tons of who I was to make the relationship work, and for what? The loss shattered me.


Finally, I started to pray about it. I felt lead to read the beginning of Romans 15, which starts in some translations as follows:


“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak…”


But I wasn’t strong. That was clear. Did this mean I was supposed to find someone who was strong who could help me deal with my failings? Maybe, and I did that, but I felt God pressing me to realize it was more than that. Over and over again he pressed into my mind, “We who are strong…”


He sees us when we are strong. He sees us when we are weak. He sees everything in between, from beginning to end. He has the big picture. A fallen valley in the span of our lives doesn’t deter Him from recognizing us as strong. It doesn’t stop Him from recognizing us as belonging to HIm. He sees our weakness and bears with our failings. And there’s more! He wants us to do the same for each other.


We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak. Don’t condemn them, support them. Help them heal. Remember that God has called you and I out of some of the same messes. And if he can set me back on the right track, if he can heal my pain, he can do it for any other hurting soul I can see.


We, who are strong…