From: David Kabanje
Date: October 6, 2021
Subject: GMU: Confronting People


Beautiful People, 

We are the Warriors, not the Cowards. Warriors are men and women of principle, grit, and determination. As warriors of God, I would like to discuss a principle of character—relational confrontation. Confrontation is generally perceived as a negative interaction, especially if it starts with, "we need to talk." Those four words are a gut-punch of anxiety and fear; however, God desires us not to live in fear or anxiety. If this is the case, then He has a remedy to our cowardly approach to confrontation. In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus outlines relational confrontation. The first step is to identify the fault, confront the brother or sister, and resolve the issue. If a resolution is not found, a third party is involved, then the church. Now, "if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector" (Matthew 18:17). We all know how Jesus treated tax collectors—He loved them. Relational confrontation doesn't always end well, but we are still called to love the "tax collector."   


The beauty of relational confrontation is that it's rooted in the Spirit of love. Relational confrontation can grow both parties when done with the Spirit of God for the Spirit, for "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." We can confront issues with our family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers with power, love, and a sound mind. Here are seven steps that help with that:

  1. Have an "I respect you, and I am for you" stance. 
  2. State the conflict that needs to be confronted.
  3. Own your contribution to the problem. 
  4. Listen. 
  5. Request change within a Win/Win stance. 
  6. Return to the "I am for you" stance. 
  7. Have a follow-up conversation.


We don't have to be afraid of confrontation because Jesus has given us the power, love, and peace of mind to do it with integrity and respect. It won't always be a win-win scenario, and if it's not, continue to treat the "tax collector" with love. 


We are warriors for God. Let's fight for each other and now with each other. 

P.S. If you would like to share a GMU with our campus, please let me know or send it to my email. Thank you, friends.